I asked my dad about this experience, and here’s how he described it: he told his parents he was ready to get married, so his family arranged meetings with three neighboring families. That’s how my dad decided on the person with whom he was going to spend the rest of his life.
I am perpetually indecisive about even the most mundane things, and I couldn’t imagine navigating such a huge life decision so quickly. Happily so—and probably more so than most people I know who had nonarranged marriages.
I was having brunch with some girlfriends the other day, and we got on the subject of first dates. It's a generic question that breeds generic answers, and doesn’t really give you additional insight into who I am.While we all had different experiences, there was one thing we all agreed on: There are a few questions we are absolutely of hearing from guys on a first date. Asking me what I “do for fun” kind of makes me feel like I’m on an interview, not a date.The first girl, he said, was “a little too tall,” and the second girl was “a little too short.” Then he met my mom. Let’s look at how I do things, maybe with a slightly less important decision, like the time I had to pick where to eat dinner in Seattle when I was on tour last year.He quickly deduced that she was the appropriate height (finally! First I texted four friends who travel and eat out a lot and whose judgment I trust. Finally I made my selection: Il Corvo, an Italian place that sounded amazing. (It only served lunch.) At that point I had run out of time because I had a show to do, so I ended up making a peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich on the bus.What seems like a simple, intuitive choice can make the difference between a happy first date and echoing silence in your inbox.
And with the constant deluge of hook-up aps like Tinder and Grindr, alternative dating sites like Coffee Meets Bagel and Why Don’t We and non-standard sites like Meet Up, the do’s and don’ts of online dating get more confusing and convoluted than a Choose Your Own Adventure edition of here: to help you cut through the Gordian knot of online dating mysteries.
The question nagged at me—not least because of my own experiences watching promising relationships peter out over text message—so I set out on a mission.
I read dozens of studies about love, how people connect and why they do or don’t stay together.
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How much time do people spend posting things about themselves? Do they enjoy meeting people online more than making friends in person?