Sunday was Valentine’s Day and leading up to it, we shared some super sweet stories from couples who met each other online.
Sadly, not every online date ends in a happily ever after — in fact, some end in, “see you never” and we have some truly awful first (and last) date stories for you.
The "pros" include painfully obvious suggestions such as: "smiling a lot", "telling jokes" and covering up your natural smelly odour by "wearing perfume/aftershave". There are trolls among us, and they’re taking us out to lunch. I’ve crushed the memory down out of shame, but, if I’m going to be judging trolls, I should probably admit to the time I was one myself.
I got hammered at NYE, lost my friends, lost my coat, puked on the cat, the cat puked in my Xbox and I’m still very, very single. I think I wanted to put myself off going through the dating rigmarole again (It didn’t work). She orders so much food that she has loads of food left over. I had high hopes for this year, but so far it has been unanimously shit. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to investigate the “worst dating fails” as recorded by Reddit users.I stopped reading the list of fails after I came across this one because it’s horrid. Like I said, I’m planning on diving throat deep into the dating cess pit again, and I’m eager to avoid at least some of this horror. Recently, Once have started pushing the envelope further still.A woman was dating a man, and it had gone OK, nothing untoward. As they sat in his car, he suddenly locked all of the doors and shouted at the top of his lungs: “I WANNA EAT THAT FUCKING PUSSY! So, I had a look about, on the hunt for a solution. Once have been on the market for a little while; they seem like they are trying their darnedest to spare us the shit storm that dating can produce. They now allow you to interact with your personal matchmaker, ensuring that you can cover all of the bases that you want ticked and significantly reduce the chances you’ll be paired with a disaster-shaped human. *Ahem.*And, once you’ve given your Once matchmaker the low down and they send over your first match, if you’re not keen, you can get back in touch with the matchmaker and fine tune your preferences even further – kinda like in the screenshot below: You’re also able to talk to the matchmaker in real time via the app, so that you’ll be certain they have all the information they need to ensure that they pick out the very best potential significant other for you."So I then had lots of money and I told her I was ready to be with her. She said, 'I don't care, I have two guys staying here now.' "A word to the wise: Look that girl in the eyes." "I met a guy on Craigs List and we had our first date.
And in the middle of telling me things that he liked to do and talking about his ex-wife he goes from 'we liked sailing and buying antiques' to 'and I like corsets ...' Excuse me, corsets?
” After they were seated at the table, the boy proceeded to loudly discuss how young Janet was, even though she’d repeatedly told him they were the same age. In his own words: "The chat was horrifically bad." The date was so awkward that he felt forced to start pretending to keep an eye on the football that was on in the corner of the pub, as a way of covering for the long, empty silences.
The third time he turned away to watch the game, he discovered that the girl had upped and left. When Hannah had first started working at her office, she’d been introduced to a man called Paul, who had had been oddly cool and unwelcoming.
However, at least one woman in the dating universe thought this was a good idea. He says “You shouldn’t have worn heels.” It kind of doesn’t matter what he says after that, he’s already a douchebag, but what follows is as classic as it is offensive.
He said that she was walking “like a dog that someone had put socks on.” LOL, but not really LOL. If nothing else, I think we’ve demonstrated that, if you plan on getting involved in the dating world, you’re likely to have major disasters before you find your one true love.
Thankfully, V-Day is behind us, because these stories might make it hard to feel romantic. “This date was my first and last date on The League.