Adrien Chen recently wrote an amazing article in part on meeting people online, and the depth of the relationship that is possible.
He noted: “When someone asks me how I know someone and I say “the internet,” there is often a subtle pause, as if I had revealed we’d met through a benign but vaguely kinky hobby, like glassblowing class, maybe. Anyways, I think I’m just afraid of dating in general, more so than meeting people online.
Published in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, it explains that there’s a ‘tipping point’ when it comes to online dating.
n today’s episode, we’re going to talk about my own blazing hypocrisy. What I don’t quite understand myself is why I believe rather strongly that you can make wonderful friendships online that transfer to in-person magic, but somehow think differently about doing so for romantic relationships.“But Elise,” you might be asking yourself, “on which topic? Specifically, the fact that I can’t shake this stigma around online dating, even when I have plenty of Internet friends whom I cherish. Do years of fiction-induced brainwashing play a role?Add technology to the mix and you get fear of change, doubled.When people began forming connections online, romantic or otherwise, the anonymity the internet allowed was terrifying.I’m still too much of a traditionalist to want to meet someone for a real relationship through some online profile.
I really don’t know why, but I think it’s the one part of me that kind of believes in fate or something bigger than myself (yes, bigger than the internet). Elise’s current obsessions: New York, Danish people, badass ladies, keeping my local bookstore in business, Happy Endings, Ben and Kate, Channing Tatum (I KNOW, I’m sorry), JGL (there, better?On the weekends, my roommates and I perused Yelp to decide which Seamless restaurant to order from and find out which neighborhood bar was open until 4 AM.As it turned out, the new friends I expected my roommates to invite over rarely arrived., what part of our lives is not arranged by the smartphone in our hand?shows that 38% of those who identify as "single and looking" use dating websites.But here in my new apartment, there were seven new people in the flesh, seven new groups of friends to meet.The first generation of digital natives are coming of age, but two strangers meeting online is still suspicious (with the exception of dating sites, whose bare utility has blunted most stigma).” Not me! My coworker/friend/cofriend Alyce wrote this incredible piece on the sociology of Ok Cupid in particular, which, while fascinating, has only led me to run faster away from the service. Here’s the other thing…I think I’ve been on like, three dates in my life. At some point, he’s supposed to take his coat off and let me walk on it, right? I guess what it all comes down to is: as much as I joke around like I’m a badass, I’m actually pretty sensitive and anxious. I feel like I should know how to do this by now, instead of bumbling my way through it at age 26.